Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
