a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
