Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
