Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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