WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
