I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish you could order shots online.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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