Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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