you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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