she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
