Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
