so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize