ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
