Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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