dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You ruined the universe
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
