this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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