A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
