Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's Friday. Sex?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
