I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
