Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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