dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Two words: blizzard sex
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
