is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this will be a night to untag.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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