He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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