what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
