All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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