my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
