so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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