you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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