so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
