Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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