There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
