My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
