yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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