I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
