Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We were destined to go to rehab together
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
