I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
