Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
