is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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