i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize