Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
