There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When are your genitals available?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
