If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
