Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
