I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
