Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
