508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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