I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
