I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
