The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
