I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
