Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
this just has baby written all over it
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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