I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
