I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
