He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
