Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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