i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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