i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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