I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
