im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
