I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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