so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want to make out with him forever
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
