Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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