took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
