So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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