Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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