Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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