I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
