well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
