What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
