My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize