dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
