Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
