i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
