Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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