$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
