I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
