Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
