so let's talk penis.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
