he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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