You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
